First of all, sorry this post is so wordy, there's no pictures to put in it really!! :/
Okay so this is a post that I've been wanting to write for a while - even before I properly started my blog. The main reason is that when me and my boyfriend first started a long distance relationship I searched the internet for AGES to find decent advice and help but barely found any :( but now we're coming to the end of this long distance phase, I think I'm now experienced enough to offer advice and help any other ladies & gents in the same situation!
First, some background info; Callum and I have known each other for around 4 and 1/2 years and have been dating for nearly 2 years. In September 2011, he moved to university near Cardiff, in Wales around 200 miles away from me who had to stay in our home-town to finish my A levels. This means that I went from seeing him practically every other day to every 3/4 weeks. I'm not going to lie - it was hard; for me and him. But we've gotten through it - he's home for summer tomorrow! Here are my top tips for long distance relationships :)
1)
Trust. Seem too obvious? Yeah, it may be but it is the MOST important thing to have when starting a long distance relationship. Without it, you'll be a nervous wreck. If you're guy is happy to be in a long distance relationship with you then he must love you and trust you, so you should do the same. Yes, there'll be pretty girls going up to him in bars but you have to trust him to say no or you'll go crazy.
2)
Skype and phone calls. I think I would go as far as saying that Skype has saved our relationship. It's amazing, it feels like we're in the same room as each other. I'd definitely recommend getting skype, it's so much better than talking on the phone. On average, I'd say me and Callum skype once or twice a week and talk on the phone nearly every day, even if it's just for 10 minutes, it's lovely to hear his voice and ask about his day :)
3)
Don't worry. This kinda links in with the trust part, but yeah. If you're guy is off out on the town, don't worry about him. If he loves you, he'll be faithful :) guys aren't as animalistic as you think they are. Most of the time they're out with other guys anyway who would look out for him, so yeah, just chill :) I'll admit, this will be hard at first but give it time.
4)
Make the most of the time you do spend together. Sounds silly but it's true.When you do get to see each other, don't just lay in bed or sit around doing nothing DO SOMETHING, get out there and make the most of the few days you have and make some good memories for you to look back on.
5)
Plan in advance to have something to look forward to. I don't know about everyone else, but I'm generally more positive and motivated when I have something to look forward to and work towards. I find it helps knowing when Callum is coming back, so I can count down and look forward to it. But other things like holidays, or even a skype session is something to look forward to and can keep you thinking positive :)
6)
Have things of sentimental value close to you. Definitely more of a girly thing, but when I'm down or missing Callum, I love having things that remind me of him close by that make me smile :) I love looking through our holiday photo's from last summer, the teddy bear he won me at Southend, the jewellery he bought me for my birthdays that I wear everyday and other little things like Valentines cards :) these things just instantly cheer me up and remind me why I'm doing this.
7)
Give it time. The first week apart is the hardest. After that, it gradually becomes easier as you get used to it. Before you know it 4 or 5 weeks will have flown past, I promise, even if the first 1 has dragged. My advice is to at least wait until you see each other again before ending anything as then you'll realise how much you love him and that all the tears were worth it for that moment when you see him. I know that is mega cheesy but it's true. The moment I saw Callum again after our first 4 weeks apart was the most amazing feeling :)
8)
Don't be too dependent on him. Probably my biggest flaw is being too dependent on Callum to make me happy and make me feel secure. This is hard from 200 miles away, so I've had to become more independent and stronger as a person, which is a good thing I suppose :)
9)
Talk to each other. I don't mean on the phone, I mean open up to how you're feeling. This is especially important before you start a long distance relationship. Set a basis up so you know where you stand with each other. For example; me and Callum agreed that neither of us would rush into breaking up with one another, and that we would wait until we see each other again and talk things out. If one of you is finding it too hard and wants to end it - definitely consider going on a break first to see how you really feel about each other. Me and Callum went on a break twice during our long distance phase and both times we ended coming back to each other and saying sorry cos we realise how much we mean to each other. More cheesy crap woooo :P
10)
Enjoy your life at home. I've found that since Callum moved away, I've made closer friends with other people and this means that I can still have fun without him around. Sounds really mean, but that means you can still have fun too and not stay in at weekend being all sad cos your other half is 200 miles away!
PHEW! I think that's all I have to say :) If you have any questions ask in the comments bit and I'll get back to you!! :)
Thanks so much for reading :)
xoxo
