Dealing with Acne - Physically & Mentally

WARNING: this post is very wordy, if you want to look at pretty pictures, skip this post now.

I'm sure all of us have had spots, however not everyone suffers with acne. There are many recommendations for getting rid of the spots and scars and although I have some to recommend, I'm also going to focus on the mental side of acne and how to deal with negative comments or self image.

For reference, this is a very hard post for me to write - it's actually taken me a week or so to get this perfect before posting because I kept leaving and coming back to it. But I want to post this to help other women, most likely younger than me, who suffer with acne to help them deal with the mental side because I don't want other people to be as affected by it as I was and lose their self confidence as much as I did because it's unnecessary. I've only recently been able to take pictures of myself and starting this blog was hard for me as it would involve me posting pictures of my face and having people judge me silently which I hate the thought of.

I developed acne at the age of 12 or 13 in early secondary school. I went through puberty before most other girls, I started my periods at age 10 and starting wearing a bra around the same time. This meant that when I started getting spots, it was before everyone else which I feel made me more of a target for bullying. I was bullied for my acne (and early puberty) from around age 11 to around 15, I lost all my confidence and although I'm a lot more confident than I used to be, I don't ever think I'll be as confident as other people who are just permanently blessed with amazing skin and body. Even at 19, I still suffer with low self image and am shy and reserved around new people as I feel like they are judging me. I also always look for constant approval that I look okay, whether it be from my boyfriend, my friends, my family or even me looking at my face in the mirror.

The thing to remember is around 80% of young people (boys later than girls) suffer with acne. So even if you're the first to get it, that also means it will probable be the first to clear up. At the time I didn't realise this, but it's true. By the time I finished my GCSE's and started my A levels I had clearer skin and all my friends had spots.

By age 15 I had established a proper skin care routine so gradually my acne began to improve (and I still use the same skin care routine now, let me know if you want a separate post on it).

My main tips:

• Remain positive. I know it's hard to realise at the time but acne does go away eventually.
• Stick with your friends. Don't lock yourself away. If you have a group of friends who are still there for you even if you are getting stick from others, then stick with them, they're obviously good people :)
• Ignore the bullies. They're just looking for something to do, they'll say anything to get a reaction. I know that what they say may hurt at the time but if you just turn around and walk away there's nothing more they can do.
• Find a skincare routine. Once I found my skincare routine that worked for me and stuck to it, my skin began to become clearer. If you need help finding a skincare routine I suggest seeing a beautician and maybe going for a facial so they can get to know your skin and recommend products.
• Don't wear make up all the time. Especially cheap make up! This will clog pores and make your skin even worse. If you're having a lazy day around the house, you don't need make up so just let your skin breathe. Don't wear cheap, crap quality make up either as the ingredients won't be good for your skin. I'm not saying go and buy a mega expensive high end foundation, I'm saying be wary of what you're putting onto your skin.
• If you need help, ask for it. If you think your acne is so bad that nothing else will work, go and see a dermatologist as they have some friggin' powerful things that can really help - if you have the confidence to ask to begin with :)

I really really hope this post is fairly helpful and not like all other acne posts out there. If anyone has any questions about my acne or skin or just anything in general comment below, tweet me, or email me if you want a more private reply :)

Thanks for reading!

xoxo

Long Distance Relationships

First of all, sorry this post is so wordy, there's no pictures to put in it really!! :/

Okay so this is a post that I've been wanting to write for a while - even before I properly started my blog. The main reason is that when me and my boyfriend first started a long distance relationship I searched the internet for AGES to find decent advice and help but barely found any :( but now we're coming to the end of this long distance phase, I think I'm now experienced enough to offer advice and help any other ladies & gents in the same situation!

First, some background info; Callum and I have known each other for around 4 and 1/2 years and have been dating for nearly 2 years. In September 2011, he moved to university near Cardiff, in Wales around 200 miles away from me who had to stay in our home-town to finish my A levels. This means that I went from seeing him practically every other day to every 3/4 weeks. I'm not going to lie - it was hard; for me and him. But we've gotten through it - he's home for summer tomorrow! Here are my top tips for long distance relationships :)

1) Trust. Seem too obvious? Yeah, it may be but it is the MOST important thing to have when starting a long distance relationship. Without it, you'll be a nervous wreck. If you're guy is happy to be in a long distance relationship with you then he must love you and trust you, so you should do the same. Yes, there'll be pretty girls going up to him in bars but you have to trust him to say no or you'll go crazy.

2) Skype and phone calls. I think I would go as far as saying that Skype has saved our relationship. It's amazing, it feels like we're in the same room as each other. I'd definitely recommend getting skype, it's so much better than talking on the phone. On average, I'd say me and Callum skype once or twice a week and talk on the phone nearly every day, even if it's just for 10 minutes, it's lovely to hear his voice and ask about his day :)


3) Don't worry. This kinda links in with the trust part, but yeah. If you're guy is off out on the town, don't worry about him. If he loves you, he'll be faithful :) guys aren't as animalistic as you think they are. Most of the time they're out with other guys anyway who would look out for him, so yeah, just chill :) I'll admit, this will be hard at first but give it time.


4) Make the most of the time you do spend together. Sounds silly but it's true.When you do get to see each other, don't just lay in bed or sit around doing nothing DO SOMETHING, get out there and make the most of the few days you have and make some good memories for you to look back on.


5) Plan in advance to have something to look forward to. I don't know about everyone else, but I'm generally more positive and motivated when I have something to look forward to and work towards. I find it helps knowing when Callum is coming back, so I can count down and look forward to it. But other things like holidays, or even a skype session is something to look forward to and can keep you thinking positive :)

6) Have things of sentimental value close to you. Definitely more of a girly thing, but when I'm down or missing Callum, I love having things that remind me of him close by that make me smile :) I love looking through our holiday photo's from last summer, the teddy bear he won me at Southend, the jewellery he bought me for my birthdays that I wear everyday and other little things like Valentines cards :) these things just instantly cheer me up and remind me why I'm doing this.

7) Give it time. The first week apart is the hardest. After that, it gradually becomes easier as you get used to it. Before you know it 4 or 5 weeks will have flown past, I promise, even if the first 1 has dragged. My advice is to at least wait until you see each other again before ending anything as then you'll realise how much you love him and that all the tears were worth it for that moment when you see him. I know that is mega cheesy but it's true. The moment I saw Callum again after our first 4 weeks apart was the most amazing feeling :)

8) Don't be too dependent on him. Probably my biggest flaw is being too dependent on Callum to make me happy and make me feel secure. This is hard from 200 miles away, so I've had to become more independent and stronger as a person, which is a good thing I suppose :)

9) Talk to each other. I don't mean on the phone, I mean open up to how you're feeling. This is especially important before you start a long distance relationship. Set a basis up so you know where you stand with each other. For example; me and Callum agreed that neither of us would rush into breaking up with one another, and that we would wait until we see each other again and talk things out. If one of you is finding it too hard and wants to end it - definitely consider going on a break first to see how you really feel about each other. Me and Callum went on a break twice during our long distance phase and both times we ended coming back to each other and saying sorry cos we realise how much we mean to each other. More cheesy crap woooo :P

10) Enjoy your life at home. I've found that since Callum moved away, I've made closer friends with other people and this means that I can still have fun without him around. Sounds really mean, but that means you can still have fun too and not stay in at weekend being all sad cos your other half is 200 miles away!

PHEW! I think that's all I have to say :) If you have any questions ask in the comments bit and I'll get back to you!! :)

Thanks so much for reading :)

xoxo